'Text me when you're home' - A response to murder of Sarah Everard

*Trigger Warning* - Contains references to sexual voilence.

In light of the recent murder of Sarah Everard by Wayne Couzens, I share a few points that have come to my mind. These are not exhaustative, but reflection in times of mourning seem important. Ultimately, it is our responsibiltiy to seize the change we want.

• Men, together, can make change to the culture of their gender. But crucially, we have the responsibility to do so. While women of course have influence, ultimately, it is up to individuals to change the way we behave as a group from within. Through rape ‘jokes’, for example, such behaviour is normalised among both young and old men today. This has directly lead to both the preservation and cultivation of Rape Culture. This has to be stamped out. This sort of ‘joke’ is not, and should never have been acceptable, and is but a truly cruel manifestation of male-bias and in my view reflects a failure to understand the nature of the world and the impact such comments can have on others. Similarly, when white men say that not all men are the problem, this is a failure to recognise who you are the privileges afforded to you, and the societal power that this gives. We are the product of this masculine culture, but we are also the beholders of it; you and I can do more to change the state of affairs than most others. Cultural change is the best way we can honour the death of Sarah Everard. This petty sum will not console her family and loved ones. Yet I hope her death will not be in vein, like so many others. I hope there will be lasting socio-cultural change and a move away from the tradition of mockery and belittlement of women and their experiences. Part of me wants to be confident about this; I have never before seen so much feminism on my social media. Yet another part of me recognises the centuries of struggle against misogyny, and this makes me admit that the change we seek is deep, complete and radical. But most of all, these changes are, and always have been, ethically absolutely necessary. Hence this article.
  

• So long as we are in any way ignorant of the effects of patriarchy, it is always going to be impossible to dismantle it. 3 weeks ago I had a conversation with my mum about why she doesn’t like going out in the dark. I gave her my copy of Simone de Beauvoir’s The Second Sex this year, knowing she knew little about feminism. But I did not expect the expect to which she would be subconsciously victim to the patriarchy. She was unaware of the gender conditioning that has taught her not to want to go outside at night. My sister feels the same way. She carries her keys like a knife in her hand! Though I was not shocked by this, the absurdity of it is staggering! That we live in such a world is so strange. Obviously I have never felt such a way, and my mum has never told me to be careful at night, advise that she has to give to my sister every time she goes out at night. Further still, I was surprised by the fact that they were unaware of this. If some women are not aware of why the world makes them feel this way, and how the psyche is affected by male-oriented structures, then there will be too many men who do not. I think that social media has an important role to play, but as always, it is necessary to educate your friends, family, children and especially those with whom you disagree. There is no excuse for ignorance, and that silence does lead to violence.

• This is also an issue about the police. Looking at the facts, we can say that a man-identifying officer murdered Sarah Everard. Later, other policeMEN beat up that officer. And now hundreds of officers have been violently arresting the protesters and the vigil holders at Clapham Common. Here we can see the escalation of violence and from the only group to which we give ‘justified’ violence. The police as an institution rests on the idea that people, especially women, need protection. My mum asks me, ‘who would protect the streets without police?’ For some of us, the murder of George Floyd epitomised the fact that the police are often the biggest threat on those same streets. I believe some police feed off this misogynistic idea that that men are predatory and women are in need of protection. I believe this is why the (alleged) murderous officer was beaten by other policemen; they consider violence a defence of the city, some sexist noble creed that requires violent and macho men. Well obviously this is circular; the police protect us, yet we need protection from the police; a violent service provided by the police. Thus, the violence is justified. Because of these systemic sexist and violent attitudes within the MET police, and her failures to address it, I call for the resignation of believe Cressida Dick, head of London's MET police.

Not all men are the problem, just as not all police officers are violent. But all women must deal with the consequences of this. All men bear the responsibility of change. Until then, all women must look over their shoulder while walking home at night, and clench their fists around their house keys in sheer fear.

Please feel free to contact me if you wish to respond.